We’ve been there. In a verbally-abusive relationship. And if you’re reading this, we’re assuming you’ve been there too, or are there right now, or know someone who is. The first thing you need to know is this: YOU DONT DESERVE TO BE TALKED DOWN TO OR CALLED NAMES, OR MANIPULATED, OR MADE TO FEEL LIKE SOMETHING IS YOUR FAULT WHEN IT’S NOT, OR TALKED TO IN A WAY THAT MAKES YOU FEEL ANYTHING LESS THAN THE AMAZING PERSON THAT YOU ARE.
We know that’s it’s hard to leave, because sometimes things get better. Sometimes things aren’t so bad. But no person should ever be allowed to speak to you in that way, or lay his hands on you, or yell at you in a way that breaks you down, and maybe reminds you of how you used to get yelled at as a child.
Here are some signs Oprah.com listed that mean you might be in a verbally-abusive relationship:
1) The abuse only happens when you’re alone with him. Friends and coworkers might think he’s a prince, so you doubt your own perceptions or believe his anger must be your fault.
2) Verbal abuse escalates gradually; you adapt. (The abuse might also become physical.) He’s Jekyll and Hyde, with just enough sweet times to keep you hoping the relationship will improve.
3) You assume that he’s trying to be rational and wants the same things you want, so you strain to make sense of what he says. But it’s nonsense, designed to confuse you. The shocking truth is, he seeks control, not intimacy.
Here are some things to remember:
1) Recognize that the abuse has nothing to do with you or your actions or qualities.
2) Stop trying to explain and defend yourself. Instead, start setting limits: “Cut that out!” or “I don’t want to hear that.”
3) Listen carefully to your feelings. Believe them, not him.
4) Get support from a counselor or therapist. Make sure she understands that this isn’t just a “conflict” or an “argument.”
5) Keep in mind that an abuser might be able to change himself if he really wants to—but you can’t change him. You can honor and nurture yourself.
AND THIS ISN’T LISTED IN THE ARTICLE, BUT LADIES, YOUR BEST BET IS PROBABLY TO GET THE HELL OUT AND DON’T LOOK BACK. IF YOU FEEL LIKE YOU ARE IN DANGER, CONTACT SOMEONE YOU TRUST, AND MAYBE EVEN THE POLICE.
Read Oprah’s checklist to see if you’re in a verbally-abusive relationship, at the end of the post on this page here: http://www.oprah.com/oprahs-lifeclass/Verbal-Abuse-How-To-Save-Yourself#ixzz2v295MB55
1) Dress In a Way That Makes Your Waist Look Smaller
Try wearing a girdle, a stylish wide belt (with a voluminous skirt), and/or high-waisted form-fitting pants with high heels!
3) Butt Lifting Jeans and Leggings
Even better when the butt’s built right in!
Okay, so there are probably books out there packed with only jokes about Kim Kardashian. She even appeared on The Tonight Show’s final show with Jay Leno to make fun of the fact that she was the butt of so many of his jokes.
But to be hounded by a man in blackface proclaiming to be Kanye? We read on the The New York Daily News site that Kardashian was invited to be the date of Austrian businessman Richard Lugner for the Vienna Opera Ball, but that the appearance was anything but a ball for Kardashian.
Yes, you have to stop eating fast and processed food! Yes, you have to eat more fresh fruits and vegetables! There’s no way around it! But here are seven easy ways to add more fruits and vegetables into your diet.
1) Store pre-chopped raw veggies in the fridge for snack
2) Start every dinner with a small salad
3) Scramble your eggs with diced peppers and mushrooms, or whatever vegetable you prefer, we also enjoy spinach
4) Throw an apple in your purse every morning, and eat it between breakfast and lunch with some natural peanut butter
5) Add a cup of spinach to the blender for your fruit smoothie
6) Top your sandwich with tomatoes and cucumbers
7) Eat an orange for dessert instead of a cookie, etc
Curvy Diet supplements can also help curb cravings, while plumping you up in all the right places! Also, check out herbal firming cream for your butt, it lifts and smooths! And don’t forget your sit-ups, and here are some other exercises you could try out. Stay curvy, ladies!
We were surfing the web — as we tend to do to keep on top of health/fitness/beauty trends — and we just discovered that Essence magazine has a whole online category titled “Natural Hair Revolution.” Check some of the posts out, we didn’t realize there was a natural hair event called Naptural Attraction!
We know this is a blog about health and fitness and bootys, but sex also factors into a healthy lifestyle! Not just how you do it, or how much you do it — but also how you feel about yourself while doing it. We don’t always agree with the “sex tips” in magazines, but this article — although awfully titled “Top Sex Mistakes Women Make” (how about “Top Tips For Better Sex”?) — has some great tips to boost confidence, communication, and attitude in the bedroom. They list 10 “mistakes,” but here are our top favorites:
Thinking sex ends when he climaxes. “Just because he’s fulfilled doesn’t mean you are. Let him know you haven’t finished and help him find ways to get you there with his hands or mouth. If he’s consistently too wiped out to give you the attention you deserve, have your needs met before his next time.”
Obsessing about your body. “The numbers on the scale aren’t what you’d like… so what…weight is no excuse for avoiding sex. Or maybe your weight is fine, but you’re fixating on another flaw. Guess what? If he wants to have sex with you, he thinks you’re sexy. If your self-image is hindering your sex life, consult a therapist, join a support group, read a self-help book, or check out Get Out of Your Head… and into Bed!“
Analyzing his equipment malfunction. “This happens to every guy, but it’s still an awkward moment for both. Unless deflated sails are an ongoing problem, don’t make a big deal about it. Delving into the psychology of why he’s gone flat and what it means only makes the situation worse. Who knows, he could’ve had a vision of his grandmother that made him lose his erection. Follow his lead. If he’s done, move on. But if he feels he can rally, keep going and try something else… There are so many things you can do in bed together that don’t require an erect penis. Let him to focus on you for a few minutes.”